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You’re smarter than you look, you can shove large amounts of material into your head in mere minutes, you can complete long worksheets in a single try, you’re CRAM MAN!

Make that effortless connection, call 1-800-IWANNA-PICKUP-ALOSER.

You have a flair for the dramatic, take a theater class.

Much like the ostrich, you like to stay hidden, but it’s a pretty day, so get your head out of the sand and live it up.

If you find yourself crying your days away, cry into a cup and use your tears to season your food (hey you’re a college kid, can you really afford salt?).

You find yourself going along with the crowd lately, its time to push the crowd in a new direction.

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Your mastery of a foreign language past, present or future, will lead to your eventual fate.

The only true partner for a Sagittarius is a Scorpio, guess it’s back to the old “What’s your sign?” pick up line.

You believe that everything needs fresh air, and this would explain why you never put the toilet seat down

Your tendency to feel for the world is the reason the world loves you.

Count your losses; if you can’t do it on one hand, you need to make some recovery trips.