In an urgent hunt to increase enrollment, VCU has gone after other species. Gladius M. Peanut is the first of this new breed of student.
Gladius is finding it hard to fit in, being a giant peanut is not easy. There are no rooms are big enough to house him.
However, Peanut is not phased , “I just want to try and fit in the best I can,” she said. “I want to make my parents proud by becoming the first peanut to ever graduate from college.”
There are many skeptics of this plan. “Letting peanuts attend class here lowers the standards for the university and makes us human students look foolish,” said Charles M. Pumpernickle, a mass communications major.
This event marks the first time a nonhuman has been allowed to attend a public university. There are hopes to extend offers to radishes, pumpkins and lima beans later in the year.
Bob Note: All names were made up, any similariy to real people is purely coincidental.