Aries: Look for ways to combine nature and music this week.
Taurus: Stay away from aerosol cans for exactly three days if
you wish to be successful on your next college paper.
Gemini: Much like the violin, your hair might soon become stringy.
Cancer: Learn to separate the pizza from the pepperoni.
Leo: Slot Machines could well be the root of all that is evil.
Virgo: If you find yourself on one of two trains that are traveling
toward each other at a rate of 150 mph, forget the math and evacuate.
Libra: Roll the dice; if the sum is odd then you must hold your
breath the next time you walk past a trash can or risk altering the universal
Scorpio: God is good, God is great, run to class or you’ll
soon be late.
Sagittarius: Look for the letters CT, they will soon lead you
to the path of greatness.
Capricorn: The outfit doesn’t make the girl; the girl makes
the outfit, but where do all the designers, factories and machines fit in?
Aquarius: You are akin to ice in that you are less dense than
Pisces: It’s a dog-eat-dog world, so don’t let wild
horses stop you from letting the cat out of the bag.