Zodiac Cookies – Horoscopes in convenient cookie form

Aries: If you are a dog person, find a cat person and chase them.

Taurus: Be a lamp unto yourself, just don’t forget to change the bulb.

Gemini: It’s definitely February. Get with the times and flip your calendar.

Cancer: Today you will be one unto the leaf, floating aimlessly from one destination to the next.

Leo: Today is your day to discover; perhaps you should start with discovering the benefits of working with the CT.

Virgo: Sidewalk chalk leads to hours of entertainment.

Libra: Determine the mystery that is the common cold, your rewards will be plentiful indeed.

Scorpio: You’ve an aura about you today, perhaps a new brand of
deodorant will be beneficial.

Sagittarius: Be not afraid of the tin foil lining your mom’s old meatloaf, I assure you the meatloaf itself will pose you far more danger this day.

Capricorn: It’s time to stop feeling special when the loud man says, “You’ve got mail.”

Aquarius: Much like the flickering flame of the candle, you are about to go out. Have a good time and be home by dark.

Pisces: Mimic your favorite Nikes; find your perfect match.