An Ode to Self Care

Shaun Jackson, Staff Columnist 

Recommended Listening While Reading: “Before I Let Go” – Beyonce

I want to ask you for advice, but I have a very long story to tell before I can ask…

I’m not sure what’s going on here. But I gather that, like myself, you’re the long-winded type, which I don’t mind at all. In the future, include your email in your submission to me. I’m more inclined to answer you privately than to put your whole life story up.

I keep on having to ask the guy I’m with to wear a condom, and he makes the biggest fuss about it. It wouldn’t be so bad, but he knows I had an abortion and don’t even want to risk something like that again. He says he will stop, but tell me what I already know.

Girl, he has already disrespected you with his actions, so his words are nothing but moot. You deserve respect and so much more. You deserve better than him, and it will hurt for a minute or two, but you will be better for it and so much happier once you remove him from your life.

I came out to my dad. He says that he still loves me, of course, but he said that hopefully I will be able to turn straight one day. I’m not sure what to do. Please help.

Darling, you don’t have to do a damn thing. Your father does. He has to be the one to change. And I have no doubt that he is indeed a decent man that loves you, and gradually that ignorance will wear away into compassion, then understanding, then acceptance. It will take time, but be patient and stay strong.

I recently slipped out of my long-term relationship and immediately fell into a new man. Is this why all rebound relationships are doomed to fail?

I contend the only reason that rebounds fail is because they are constantly being defined by the previous relationship, which is understandable but also detrimental to this new dynamic. If you have enough respect for your new partner to stop considering the relationship a rebound, then that won’t be the reason it fails.