An Ode to Self Care

Illustration by Alex Hwee.
Shaun Jackson

Staff Columnist 

Recommended Listening While Reading: Awake – Jess Connelly

 

Last week the guy I’ve been seeing said, “I love you.” He’s everything I’ve been looking for and he is pretty much perfect. Why can’t I bring myself to say it back?

Why bother telling it to him if you can’t even say it to yourself? Even your wording: “I think he’s pretty much perfect,” doesn’t seem like it is oozing with affection. I think what you meant to say was: “He pretty much meets my criteria, but I’m not in love with him.” It’s not the easiest thing to hear, but if you can’t even say it to yourself, saying it out loud won’t magically make it true.

 

My boyfriend and I have been going strong for about six months now. The only complaint that I have at this point is that our physical relations are a tad … disappointing. That aside, I am still very much attracted to him. What now?

Well, the term “disappointing” is vague but from what I gather it implies room for improvement and a willingness on your part to give out gold stars. Look, if you’re into him that’s all you need. Couple that with patience and age-old friendly advice: practice makes perfect.

 

I overheard a group of women speaking about how liberating it is to change one’s hairstyle and they began going through the various hair transformations at different points in their life. Later on it got me thinking, I’ve had the same mousy, straight even-length hair all my life. Does this mean I’ve stopped growing as a person?

While I highly doubt you have had the same self-described mousy straight cut from your baby pictures to your teenage years and into adulthood — no, I don’t wager that you’ve stopped growing as a person. Even if it were true, it would mean that you never formed an identity by making decisions about your own appearance, which means you never started growing in the first place.

 

I eat meat all the time. The other day someone asked me how I ethically defend eating meat and I never gave it thought until recently. I do eat meat and enjoy it, but I am constantly conflicted about it all the time.

I don’t think that one can defend eating meat with an ethical argument. In terms of ethics, the argument against eating meat has the ethical high ground in most cases. You could just eat meat and accept that you are not ethically pure in that regard, but who is? Also, if it’s causing you conflict but you don’t want to give it up, be sure that when you do, buy meat you could be sure you’re buying from places that don’t contribute to the plethora of problems brought on by the meat packing industry.

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