While most of you ladies are gearing up to dress in sexy costumes for Halloween, I will be in the movie theater cozied up with a bucket of popcorn watching the love of my life on the big screen slice-and-dice some stupid teenagers.
I may have a slight obsession with a certain masked villain — Michael Myers.
I never really liked horror movies as a kid, but I started to get into the slasher classics because Disney simply didn’t cut it for me anymore.
I was intrigued by the plot of “Halloween.” What was his motive for going on a killing spree? Why did he look so good in that blue jumpsuit he stole from the mechanic he butchered?
Let me stop drooling and back up. What was Michael’s motive? In the first movie, he seemingly has no reason for killing. Consider the opening scene of the movie: he appears to be a normal kid living in a nice, suburban home with his parents and sister, the latter of whom he kills at only 6 years old.
Now, I believe in the wise words of Randy Meeks from “Scream”: “It’s the millennium, motives are incidental.” But in “Halloween II,” a potential motive is given to explain Michael’s sinister ways.
After he killed his sister when he was 6, Michael spent time in a mental hospital until he broke out at 21. He returned to his hometown and began murdering random people, stalking babysitter Laurie Strode, who is revealed to be his sister in the second movie. Perhaps Michael is just cleaning up some unfinished business. Even so, it doesn’t explain why he started killing in the first place.
Jason Voorhees from “Friday the 13th” kills to avenge his mother and keep people away from Camp Crystal Lake. Freddy Krueger from “Nightmare on Elm Street” kills because he’s a creepy, sadistic murderer with a particular affinity for children. Carrie White from “Carrie” kills because she was bullied and comes from a wildly religious and abusive home.
The newest “Halloween,” released this month, is a direct sequel to the first “Halloween” (1978) but ignores the sister storyline. With or without another sibling to kill, we have no idea what drove Michael to his first kill. This mysteriousness draws me in.
Michael gives off an energy that lets you know he isn’t playing games. I like a man who knows what he wants.
He has “the blackest eyes, the devil’s eyes,” according to his psychiatrist Sam Loomis. I could stare in those eyes for hours. Michael is stoic, cold and a little shy — he doesn’t talk much.
I imagine our first date would be him bringing me to the Myers home. He wouldn’t look at me or hold my hand, but he would order me takeout from Elephant Thai. We’d eat and sit in front of a window and watch adorable kids go trick-or-treating. I’d eventually drag him to some Halloween party — he already has his own costume so there’s no excuse not to go. I would dress up as Mrs. Voorhees from “Friday the 13th” since I’ve got plenty of turtlenecks in my own closet to emulate the vengeful mother. We may get some stares at the party, but we’d make a cute couple.
I’m joking, but I do think he is one of the most fascinating slasher killers. Some may think he’s boring, but his ability to slink around in the dark and hunt down his victims without running is impressive. He creates an air of suspension that keeps you constantly watching your back. The fact that he waited more than a decade to break out of the hospital shows his true dedication and patience. These are good traits, albeit executed badly.
Nevertheless, I think Michael’s lack of motive is scary and inherently human — even though he (spoiler alert) gets supernatural after the second movie and comes back to life after being burned to charcoal.