Interesting People: ‘We’re sorry we destroyed you’

CT’s new feature takes a closer look at some of VCU’s most interesting denizens – people you’ve always wanted to get to know, but haven’t.

Allison Simes – Senior Graphic Design Major

Rachel Converse – Senior Crafts Major

CT: What’s your deepest, darkest secret?

R: I secretly wanna quit art school and go to culinary school and be a big ol’ chef.  I want to be a bake-ist.

A: Is that the right term?

R: Yes.  But I don’t wanna bake cupcakes like everybody else.  I wanna bake breads and real cakes.

CT: Like the bake-ists on television?

R: Eh, I don’t think I’m funny enough.

CT: Why culinary school instead of art school?

R: Because you can’t eat art. Because you can eat what you bake … I really just feel like it’s something I’m better at, and I find more interesting. I am food, all the time.

CT: Tell me about your artwork.

R: I’ve been trying to sneak ducks into as many projects as I can.

A: You do do that.

R: It’s my very, very minor way of trolling … The last thing I did was, for my fabric printing samples, one of the stencils I made was a mallard duck, and before that, I made a wall hanging with a duck on it.  Just because I really really like ducks.  And I’m trying to sneak ducks just secretly somewhere everywhere  … ‘Cause ducks are my spirit animal.

A: I try to use comic books for all of my projects … I’m a really picky nerd.  Things that I’m nerdy about, I’m really picky about … (For example), I read comic books, but I don’t read DC or Marvel.  So it’s ‘other’ stuff that I really like.  ‘Transmetropolitan.’

R: It’s really meta.

CT: Can we discuss your least favorite childhood memory?

A: Well, there’s a lot of least favorites … Alright, when I was like six, I was terrible to my teeth.  I’ve always been terrible to my teeth.  But I used to like, break them all the time.

R: For fun.

A: Just for fun, just like, snap them off.  But there was this one time I got this huge abcess under one of my teeth, my molars, and I had to get a root canal.  And so they doped me up and everything, and I’m laying there all on the painkillers and shit, and they’re working on it, they’re working on it they’re working on it … And it breaks into four pieces, while they’re working on it, just as the Novocain starts to wear off.  So like, six years old, laying there screaming in the chair and, they’re like trying to dope me back up and my mom’s like freakin’ out on them for malpractice and shit.

R: <belch>

A: They eventually were able to get all the broken shards of tooth out of there.  And as a reward they gave me a picture frame with a ballerina on it. They were like, ‘We’re sorry we destroyed you, so here’s a picture frame with a ballerina on it.’ … I don’t even like ballerinas.  I’ve never danced.

CT: Are there pleasant childhood memories?

A: The bad ones are so much more fun, though.

R: I have a good one.

A: You tell a good one. You make up a good one for me.

R: One time Allison went to the moon, and she met space ostriches.

A: Yay. 

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply