Say bye-bye to the bling bling

Commissioner David Stern said NBA players would be “pleasantly surprised” when the off-court dress code was released last week. They definitely were surprised, but it wasn’t pleasant.

Stern wants to bring back a sense of professionalism that he, and probably most of the public, feels is lacking in the NBA. But if he thinks a jacket and some slacks will do the trick, he won’t be pleasantly surprised either.

The NBA already regulates what players wear on the court – and for good reason. Now it wants to tell them what they have to wear on team flights, to and from the game and at public appearances.

Visible pendants, medallions and chains have been outlawed. No more “bling,” as well as shorts and sleeveless T-shirts. And players on the bench not in uniform must wear a jacket and slacks.

What Stern is forgetting here is that these are athletes, albeit professional athletes. It’s Iverson’s crossover and Dwayne Wade’s dunks that turn the TVs on. Their muscles, their skills and their jump shots are what put the butts in the seats and the bucks in the bank.

After work, they ice down their joints and sometimes leave games on crutches. They fly around the country displaying unparalleled athleticism at least 82 times a year. For the type of work they do, wearing anything other than sweats and T-shirts to the office would just seem silly.

Teams don’t pay players to look good, they pay them to play and play well. They pay them to win.

Stern’s decision to institute a dress code comes after a season that included a brutal brawl between players and fans at a Pistons-Pacers game in Detroit. He’s obviously scared incidents like that are turning off fans – or maybe more importantly corporate sponsors. And he wants to redefine the NBA’s image.

But a dress code can’t change character.

Some of the sickest scum on earth wear suits – think Enron. Suits don’t make a man or woman. They make an impression. Is that really all Stern wants?

Maybe.

Does that make it OK? No.

Players wear team uniforms on the court – shorts, jerseys and basketball shoes. They are paid millions of dollars based on what they do in shorts, jerseys and basketball shoes. In ads selling products from junk food to deodorant, players wear shorts, jerseys and basketball shoes.

Where do suits fit in here? What Olympic athletes wear suits to their events? Who wears a suit to the gym, unless they’re coming from work? It just doesn’t make sense.

Of course, it isn’t the end of the world if a dress code is put in place and enforced. Life could be much harder for these young, famous millionaires. But it’s the motives behind the move that are the most troubling.

NBA players are who they are no matter what they’re wearing. A coat and slacks won’t keep them from getting arrested or fighting fans. It won’t keep them out of strip clubs or off “love boats.”

And it certainly won’t bring higher TV ratings.